


Bright eyes, he couldn't wait to get away

by inmyrosegarden



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 10:21:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/608784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmyrosegarden/pseuds/inmyrosegarden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis' a single father who's just...lonely. He's trapped in a ditch he's dug for himself and he doesn't quite know how to get out--until he meets Harry, who gives him the strength to venture out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bright eyes, he couldn't wait to get away

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiii. I don't quite know what I've written. It took me two whole days and I'm a mess, this was really emotional for me to write. Umm, I love the Arctic Monkeys and the name of the fic is derived from their song "Only Ones Who Know."

“And then—oh my god Louis you’re _not_ gonna believe this--but Harry, oh remember the bloke I told you about?” Liam paused, after blabbing on for ten minutes straight, to look at Louis questioningly. And Louis, who had—surprisingly—been listening, nodded in comprehension. How could he _not_ remember Liam’s band mate who snuck up in almost every other conversation?

Liam looks relieved. “Yeah so Harry jumped in between the two prats and told the one with the tattoos to shove off! Can you believe it?! He wasn’t even scared or anything! Wow that—wow just, mate, I’ll tell ya, that lads something else.” He grins and picks up his coffee, taking small sips. The silence that follows seems unnatural after Liam’s ramblings.

Louis smiles and rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to his daughter, who is patiently sitting in her high chair playing with her animal crackers. “Aw Hazel,” Louis groans. “You don’t _play_ with the crackers! You eat them.”

Hazel blinks up at her father through her eyelashes. Her bright blue orbs are glistening with mirth, and she has a pout on her lips. Louis laughs at the sight, amused at how quickly his daughter has learned to charm him.

Louis stands up and starts picking up the broken crackers from Hazel’s little table. “Oh look darling, you’ve beheaded the giraffe!” He tickles his daughter’s tummy and her chubby arms flail around her head helplessly. She giggles and snorts and Louis’ heart is filled with so much love and affection that he stops his tickling and bends down to pick his baby up, giving her a gentle squeeze. It’s times like these that make Louis truly grateful for this essence of joy in his life. He doesn’t know what he would do without Hazel.  

After kissing Hazel’s cheeks, Louis puts sits her down in his lap, rocking her gently in his arms. Liam is actually Hazel’s babysitter when he’s not busy playing gigs or rehearsing with his band.

Louis remembers how frantic he was when he moved to London two months prior. He left Manchester in a sort of “spur of the moment” decision. And he knows that since he has a young daughter he should have spent more time thinking about said decision because it would be affecting two people but—seriously. Living in the same old dingy flat in Manchester that reminded both Louis and his daughter of a certain somebody who they’d rather not remember was not helping either one of them move on with their lives. So Louis felt that leaving the city behind would be a good way to freshly start his new life with his daughter.

Unfortunately, leaving Manchester meant leaving his old job and his angelic babysitter.

When he got to London, the first thing Louis had to do was find a babysitter for his daughter. Luckily, his neighbor, who had two young boys of her own, had been kind enough point Louis in the direction of Lifesaver Liam. No seriously, that’s what Liam’s babysitting business is called.

After meeting the boy, Louis found that he quite liked him. He seemed sensible enough to take care of Louis’ daughter, even though he was part of an indie band.

Louis knew that he had developed a sort of _trust_ issue over the past two years. That’s why he was shocked when trusting Liam came so naturally to him. He was never one to allow just any old stranger to spend time with his daughter. He supposes no parents should be that way, but he was especially protective. But there’s something _about_ Liam; he’s so easy to make friends with.

And that’s what Louis did. So every day during his lunch break, Louis would meet up with Liam, who had Hazel with him, and the two would eat lunch together.

It was just another day as the two friends (and Hazel) sat together in coffee shop, both wanting something light for lunch. After Hazel’s eyes began to droop, Louis started gently rubbing her back in hopes of putting her to sleep. When she starts snoring lightly, Louis pecks her on her forehead and carefully places her in her pram. He’s got 20 minutes before his next shift starts, 15 of which he can spend with Liam.

“So Louis,” Liam begins quietly, doe eyes round and hopeful. “Will you come see us play soon?”

Louis opens up his BLT sub and starts dissecting it bit by bit, having lost his appetite. “Dunno mate. I’d love to but who’s gonna watch the little one?”

Liam mulls Louis’ words over in his head, picking up a stray strip of bacon from Louis’ plate. “My friend Danielle can do it,” he says eventually. He breaks the bacon into two pieces and places them both in his mouth.

Louis quirks an eyebrow at him. “Who’s Danielle and do you _really_ think I’m going to leave Hazel with her?”

“Trust me Louis,” Liam begins, staring deep into Louis’ eyes and touching his soul because Liam is odd like that. “She’s great and I’m sure you’ll love her. I’ve known her since I was 8. She really is trustworthy.”

Louis sips his tea, which has now gone cold. He makes a face and opens his mouth to ask Liam an important question but Liam interrupts him before he can get anything out.

“She’ll do it free, Lou,” he says, smiling.

“How do you _do_ that!?” Louis exclaims, baffled once again.

“Do what?”

“Y’know. Read my mind unflinchingly. How’d you know I was gonna ask her rate?”

Liam winks. “So will you come then?”

Louis sighs in indignation. “When’s the gig then?”

“Tomorrow night at Niall’s pub. You remember Niall, don’t you?”

Louis nods, thinking of a boy with a boisterous laugh and blonde quiff. “I’d never forget a laugh like that.”

“Dazzling smile, he has,” Liam says seriously, jokingly. “Can never fully recover. His teeth are so bright.”

“Remind me again who’s in the band with you,” Louis says, looking at his watch again. He doesn’t work on Fridays so this is the last time he’ll spend proper time with Liam before the show.

“Okay so there’s Zayn. Tall, moderately dark, and handsome. He’s got a black quiff, much larger than Niall’s. He plays the bass.”

“Zayn, handsome, bass. Got it,” Louis says, tapping his index finger on the glass table.

“There’s Colton. He’s quite muscular. Got short hair and really blue eyes and Louis, you’re going to _love_ him.” Liam wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and continues, “He plays the drums.”

Louis snorts and fixes his fringe, wondering what this Colton could look like. Liam smirks at him, obviously knowing exactly what Louis is thinking about.

“Finally there’s Harry,” Liam says, mixing his coffee with the stirring wands. He has a thoughtful look on his face and his features go soft. “Harry…he’s something else. Really kindhearted, not one evil bone in his body. I’ve known him since we were toddlers and I’ll tell ya, Lou, I’d give my right arm for the boy.” Liam smiles sadly, and for a moment, Louis thinks he sees Liam’s eyes glisten with tears. “I’m very protective of him; he’s like a brother to me.” He clears his throat and snaps out of whatever universe he trailed off into. “He’s got curly hair and green eyes and he plays lead guitar and does the lead vocals,” Liam smiles. “You’ll like him,” he concludes simply.

Louis ponders what Liam has said. “You’re quite lucky you’ve got a friend who’s been with you through everything,” he thinks out loud.

Liam nods and looks at Louis. “I hope you can make it tomorrow night, Lou.”

Louis grabs his glasses, shoving them onto his nose. After picking up his bag from the floor, he stands up and pecks Hazel’s cheek. “I’ll think about it,” he says to Liam.

Liam grins, eyes crinkling. “I’ll take that as a yes okay bye!” He exclaims. Remembering Hazel he jumps to cover his mouth, eyes wide. He looks down into the pram and sees the baby is still sleeping. He makes an exaggerated gesture with his hand, wiping the sweat from his brow.

Louis laughs and heads out of the shop, walking in the direction of the cup cake shop.

He silently laughs at himself because he realizes that it’s the same every day. When he gets a moment to himself, that’s when things turn sour. He remembers all that he went through when he found out that his now ex was pregnant. It was mortifying because he knew that he simply did not like girls. He was too scared to come out to his new friends in Manchester, especially because of the utter shit he faced when he told people he liked boys in his hometown. With that fear in a new city, he built up this persona of a lad who liked girls and just wanted to have a good time.

What was mortifying was the fact that the _first time_ he had sex with his girlfriend, she became pregnant. He couldn’t believe what he had done, and in the spur of the moment he had acted _so carelessly_ just to keep up an image, and. Well.

He didn’t regret the birth of Hazel at all. She was the thing that kept him _alive_.

What he did regret, however, was how things ended with his ex. She knew he was uninterested no matter how much Louis tried to be there for her through the pregnancy. But a mere week after Hazel was born, her mother walked out on her, leaving her in Louis’ arms.

And Louis felt rejected. He knew he had done the poor girl wrong but being left like that, without a word or a call or a text just hurt him.

And raising a baby girl on his own was no piece of cake. He had to work two jobs in order to keep renting their dingy flat and buying Hazel’s clothes, food, and diapers.

Being constantly surrounded by the ghost of who Louis _could have_ been if he were better to his ex consumed him. He lived every day in regret and in sadness because not once in his life was he given the opportunity to be the person that he wanted to be.

Louis wanted a boyfriend. He wanted someone who he could talk to and laugh with. He wanted someone who would treasure Hazel’s growth with him. He wanted to feel like there was someone who had his back no matter what happened. He wanted a lover in whom he could find a friend.

But at this point in his life, Louis found it impossible. He found it impossible to even make _friends._ Of course he had Liam but he couldn’t quite think of pouring his heart out to him; it felt wrong to burden such a wonderful boy with such a heavy load of bullshit.

Now, as Louis stands behind the counter at the cup cake shop, he thinks back to the days in his hometown of Doncaster. But not the teen years. Rather, the years of his early childhood when things were so beautiful and simple. The times when it did not matter that you preferred boys to girls.

Louis feels his eyes sting as he thinks of how he would run around his front yard with his action figures while his mum watched him play from the front porch. He remembers striking some funny poses and showing off when the younger kids from the block came to watch him play. It was so easy back then, making people like him. All Louis would have to do was offer them a toy and ask them to join his game and all of a sudden, he would have a new friend.

But even those friends, with whom he spent his younger years, turned out to be jerks in the end. They were the ones who laughed at him and called him names and pushed him into walls and beat him up into pulp after they found him kissing a boy.

And to this day, it baffled Louis. It baffled him that people who truly cared about him could turn their back at him all at once.

His mum consoled him and told him, _“The only people that matter are those who don’t mind.”_ And Louis is grateful for her effort, he really is but. In the end, it’s not going to change the fact that people _hated_ him for who he was. And to him, it felt like no one wantedhim.

Louis snaps out of his reverie when the bell above the front door jingles. He wipes at his eyes quickly and looks up to see a boy staring down at him, eyebrows furrowed.

The boy is beautiful, Louis thinks. He’s tall, taller than Louis, and very, very pale. His eyes are light green with a grey tint, and in the dim light of the shop, and with the way they contrast against his pale skin, they’re bright and bold. He has a mess of wavy hair surrounding his head, and Louis wants to run his hand through it gently.

The boy suddenly clears his throat and Louis can feel himself blush. He’s worried that he’s been caught starring.

“Hi,” Louis says. He blushes furiously when he realizes how wrecked he sounds. Clearing his throat, he tries again. “Sorry. Hi. Can I help you?”

The boy smiles weakly. “Hello. I—uhh, I need a present for my boyf—I mean, my friend. It’s his birthday tomorrow, and like. I don’t know what I should give him?”

Louis smiles and blink back the tears that are threatening to spill over any minute now. What _coincidence_ that he had just been thinking about this exact subject before this boy had walked in.

“Well,” he says, for once grateful of the lack of light in the shop. “We have a great variety of cupcakes to choose from. How many are you looking to buy?”

The boy blinks and replies quietly, “Erm, well, just the one.”

“Oh,” Louis says. “Okay. Follow me.” Louis moves to his left towards the display case filled with delectable little cakes. There’s a bright light shining on them, making them look holy.

“For birthdays, if, especially, it’s a special one, I recommend my personal favorite, a red velvet cupcake topped off with cream cheese frosting. Or, you could go classic with a little twist, with the chocolate fudge cupcake with vanilla icing. Oh! And we’ve recently started making cheesecake cupcakes! This one’s got a layer of—“

Louis is cut off when the boy suddenly says, “Hey.”

He looks up at the curly haired boy. “Yeah,” he says when their eyes meet.

“’M sorry to just…I dunno. I don’t wanna spring this on you or anything but. Okay. Can you, maybe like, help me?” The boy looks lost and even more so when he scratches the back of his neck with an unreadable expression on his face.

Louis leans against the display case and folds his arms on top of it. “I can try,” he says, smiling a small smile.

“Alright.” The boy takes a deep breath. “I—I was going out with a boy for a couple of months, and like, we just. We just recently broke up.” The boy gulps and stares at his shoes. When he looks back up, Louis realizes for the first time that the boy has dark circles under his eyes. “His birthday is tomorrow and a part of me feels like I should get him something. But then the other part just tells me that I’m crazy and that he obviously would not do the same.” The boy tries to sound biter but all he ends up sounding like is sorry. He just sounds really, really sorry.

Louis thinks for a minute. Then, “How many months is a couple of months?” Louis asks.

“Three,” the boy replies, bringing his hands to his eyes and rubbing them once. _He looks so tired_ , Louis thinks sadly.

“And did you guys break up on good terms?” Louis already knows the answer before the question leaves his mouth but for some reason, he just has to ask.

“Well if you count me walking in on him sleeping with someone else 'good terms,' then yes,” he laughs. It sounds wrong. Like a sound caught between a sob and hysteria. “But I don’t quite think that’s good,” he says, sniffling and looking back down at his shoes.

Louis’ heart feels like it’s breaking, watching this beautiful creature look so sad; it's all wrong and he doesn’t know what to say. So he lets his mouth speak for him without thinking about the words first. “How could someone do that to you?” He rasps.  

The boy looks shocked. His head whips up and his eyes bore into Louis’, almost like he’s trying to figure out if Louis is joking. “What?”

“Look. All I’m saying is that you seem like a top bloke. You’re here--looking for a _cupcake_ \--for the birthday of the boy who’s given you complete _shit._ ” He stops, definitely riled up. “What’s your name?”

“Harry,” the boy replies. Instantly, there’s some sort of nagging in the back of Louis’ mind, but he’s on a roll and does _not_ have time to listen to what his mind seems to be telling him. (He feels like sometimes, his mouth is completely disconnected from his brain.)

“Well then, Harry.” Louis tests the name out in his mouth, unconsciously deciding that he likes the sound of it very much (even though it’s quite the common name). “You _don’t_ deserve that. That arse took advantage of you and that was a _very_ fucked up thing to do. But more importantly, he doesn’t deserve how much you’re caring for him. So I suggest that you forget about that shit and don’t even _think_ about him for another second. D’ya hear me?” By the time Louis is finished, his chest is heaving unevenly and his heart is beating erratically.

Harry looks absolutely shocked. His mouth is even hanging open. His eyes are wide and filled with tears and his hands, now that Louis notices them, are shaking.

“Okay,” he breathes eventually, sounding so broken that Louis wants to fling himself out the window. “Okay, I won’t.” He repeats again. (Louis feels like he’s convincing himself more than he’s convincing Louis.)

Louis sighs and moves back to the cash register, sitting down on the stool that he’s placed in front of it. His throat feels tight and he wants to pull his hair out because _why can’t he take his own advice for once?_

He sniffles and looks back to where he was standing previously. He is shocked to see that Harry is still standing there, looking down at the display.

Harry looks at Louis after a while, and this time, instead of blushing, Louis nods. He thinks Harry is going to leave the shop then but instead—

“Excuse me? I never got your name,” Harry says. It’s quiet, almost like a whisper.

Louis smiles and says, “I’m Louis.”

“Well Louis,” Harry says smiling a watery smile. “I’d like a red velvet cupcake please.”

Louis is baffled. All his talk and it had absolutely no affect. He clenches his jaw and makes his way over to the display case, bending down and taking a red velvet cupcake with blue sprinkles. After he picks one, he makes his way over to the register. Harry follows and reaches for his wallet.

Louis rings Harry up and mutters the amount due. While Harry looks for the exact change, Louis goes about packing the cupcake up in a small box. He ties a ribbon around it and pushes it towards Harry, who is waiting for Louis to take his money.

After putting the amount in the register, Louis hands Harry the receipt. He sits down on his stool and pulls out his phone, looking for a call or text from Liam. When he finds none, he looks up and sees that Harry’s cupcake is still on the counter. “Harry!” He calls.

Harry, who is now halfway out of the door, turns around to face Louis. “Yeah?”

“You’ve forgotten your cupcake,” Louis says, holding up the box.

“It’s for you, Louis,” Harry says. “The sprinkles matched the color of your eyes.”

And with that, Harry leaves the shop.

Louis sits back down on the stool, legs and hands shaking. He stares at the blue sprinkles through the see-through box and doesn’t recall when exactly he begins to cry.

***

Louis sips his non-alcoholic drink while standing in the middle of a bunch of people he doesn’t know.

He’s at Niall Horan’s pub, waiting for Liam’s band to come on stage. The opening act is a very clichéd girl group and Louis is _very_ uninterested.

He has to keep reminding himself to look like he wants to be there. After all Liam has done for him, repaying him as a friend—because Louis _does_ pay him for babysitting but he also wants to show Liam how grateful he is for their friendship—by coming to his gig should be an easy and enjoyable feat.

But truth be told, Louis is nervous. He’s kind of intimidated by Liam’s friends because Liam speaks about them with such adulation and accolade.

(And Louis has always had an inferiority complex; he always feels like out of the group of people he spends time with, he is the least important, regardless of whom that group consists.)

So when his hands start sweating and he feels a shortness of breath, it’s a natural thing; Louis is no longer alarmed. He knows he will try to impress these boys, and he knows that there is a high chance that he will _fail_ at impressing them, but all the same, Louis will stick to what he has taught himself over the years: to behave in a manner that is a full spectrum away from what he is actually like.

In the minutes that precede the bands’ performance, Louis thinks of Hazel, the one thing that keeps him sane. He thinks that no matter what happens tonight, she will always be there for him--at least until she is old enough to decide on whether or not to leave him, he thinks nonchalantly. (Because Louis has realized that people will come and go. He has realized and kind of come to terms with the fact that his daughter might even be one of them.)

He thinks of his baby’s smile when he kissed her on the cheek before dropping her off with Danielle. It’s nice that Hazel doesn’t cry anymore when she is left with someone who she doesn’t know. It goes to show that she _trusts_ Louis, and honestly, he couldn’t ask for more.

Liam was right. Louis did instantaneously like Danielle. Her petite face is encompassed with a bunch of unruly curls, and her eyes shine kindly with honesty and wonder. But most importantly, Louis realized that if Liam trusted Danielle, then he could too, for surely a boy like Liam, so kind and intelligent, would only associate himself with people like him.

So when Louis left Danielle’s house, it was with trust. He felt lighter than he did before meeting the girl and he was ready to enjoy the night.

Louis is brought back to the present when he hears the cheers of the people around him. He looks up on stage and sees Niall--blonde quiff, dazzling smile—walking towards the microphone. “Helloooo everybody! M’ so glad you could make it! I’d like to introduce my favorite band and yours, _Electric Gorillas!”_

The crowd goes insane. Louis smiles as he watches Liam, Zayn, and Colton run on stage. He notices Liam scan the audience and once he sees Louis’ face, he goes mental waving at him. Louis laughs and waves back, smiling larger than he has in a while.

Finally, the last member of the group, Harry, joins the rest of the boys on stage. Louis feels like the wind has been knocked out of him when he sees that Harry—Liam’s friend since _childhood—_ is the same Harry that walked into his cupcake shop yesterday. He blinks up at the boy and wants to punch himself because he _knew_ that the boy from last night seemed familiar somehow. Sure, Louis had never seen him before, but Liam’s description was very accurate. Louis told himself to just breathe, because surely, things couldn’t get any weirder. Surely Harry didn't even remember him. Right?

 _Electric Gorillas_ perform and Louis is very pleasantly surprised. They play beautifully, all synched in a kind of creepy way. The music compliments Harry’s rocky tone magically, and Louis feels every cell that his body is made up of ignite with the touch of the flame that is Harry’s voice.

Before he knows it, the set is over. It’s been an hour and Louis didn't even think of anything other than music, which is a shock on its own. He’s still gazing up at the stage when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulls it out, heart skipping a beat, hoping to God that it isn’t Danielle (and that Hazel is alright). He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that it's Liam, telling him to come back stage.

Louis shakily heads over to where he last saw the boys. Sure enough, he sees that there is an opened door there that leads into a brightly lit hallway.

Pulling down his shirt and running a hand through his hair, Louis walks through the hallway and peeks his head in to each door. When he reaches the end of the hallway, he sees a closed door marked _Electric Gorillas._ He takes in a deep breath and knocks at the door.

The door is immediately opened by Niall, who is all smiles. “Louis! Mate! Haven’t seen ya in ages! How’ve you been!?” Niall tugs Louis in by his arm and Louis laughs at him enthusiasm. But before he can reply to Niall, someone slams into him ruthlessly and all the air is once again, knocked out of his body.

Smelling the cologne, Louis realizes with a smile that it is, of course, Liam. He tries to break free of the hug but he is literally being _suffocated_ by the other boy.

“You made it you made it you made it!” Liam exclaims, finally letting go.

Louis laughs, struggling to catch his breath. “I did,” he says. He looks around the room at the other boys, who are looking at him with polite smiles on their faces. “You lot were absolutely _incredible._ I’m a massive fan.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, the other five lads in the room start whooping and hollering--and doing what Louis classifies as an odd mating call, at one point. Louis laughs and feels his eyes crinkling at the corners.

A gorgeous, tall muscular boy walks up to Louis. He has two drumsticks in his left hand and he sticks out his right one. “I’m Colton. Nice to meet you!” He smiles.

“Louis,” the shorter lad replies. “Great solo in the end.” He totally understands why Liam knew he’d be into him. Colton is _hot._

“Thanks!” Colton replies, patting Louis on the back. He goes back to where he was originally sitting on the couch. With one look at Louis and how comfortable he seems, Liam goes over and sits with Colton. The two jump right into a conversation and when Louis looks back, he sees a thin boy with black quiff standing in front of him.

“Zayn,” he says. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Liam. How’s Hazel?”

“Louis,” the blue eyed boy says, shocked that Liam talks to his friends about him. There’s a part of his mind that wonders what kind of stuff Liam has said, but Louis ignores that for now. “Hazel’s great. She’s with Danielle right now.”

Zayn’s face lights up. “Oh that’s great then! She’s in good hands!”

Louis smiles. “She seems great.”

“Mhm,” Zayn nods earnestly. “Sweetheart, really. Helps us a lot.”

Louis is about to say something but Niall interrupts him, calling Zayn over to the room across the hall. Zayn apologizes and excuses himself, walking out of the room quickly.

Louis plays with his hands, not knowing where to look. He’s contemplating texting Danielle just to look like he’s got something better to do when a husky voice starts talking somewhere to his left.

“How was that cupcake? Red and velvety enough?”

Louis turns around, cocking his head to the side. “Never in a million years would I have though that you—of all the Harrys out there in the world—that you’re Liam’s Harry.”

“You’re telling me!” Harry laughs and his cheek dimples when he grins afterwards.

"So how are you doing?" Louis asks, genuinely concerned.  
  
Harry sniffs and looks up at Louis, smile unwavering. "Well after my conversation with an angelic stranger last night, I've come to the conclusion that said stranger was right." Harry's sitting on a long white heater. From the state it's in, it's obvious that it's not in use anymore, so his bum's not in danger of burning. Louis walks over to him and sits down. Their sides are flush against each others because the heater is so small.  
  
Harry starts swinging his legs back and forth. Soon, Louis joins him and the two of them are just sitting there in their own world, swinging their legs, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"I'm angelic, huh?" Louis says finally, smirking.  
  
"Quite," Harry replies without hesitating. "I could feel the holiness rolling off of you."  
  
Louis snorts. "Well then I’m plenty holy for a boy that rarely goes to church."  
  
"Wa-hey!" Harry shouts, fist bumping the air. "I don't go to church much either!"  
  
Louis snorts and sits back against the wall. "I loved that cover of Angus and Julia Stone you did."  
  
" _Draw Your Swords_?"  
  
"That's the one. Almost cried."

"Really, now?" Harry asks, seemingly surprised. "Wouldn't have pegged you for the type."

  
"I'm an emotional single boy, Harry. In what way am I _not_ the type to get emotional over a sad love song?"  
  
Harry smiles and leans back against the wall too. His shoulder touches Louis' and Louis pretends that he doesn't feel a spark when it does. "I've never been in love," Harry says shortly.  
  
And Louis doesn't know what makes him say it. He doesn't understand why he does because he's not at all good at trusting people. And Harry could hurt him and use Louis' words against him.  
  
But there's something about Harry. Maybe it's the way he looks so sincere when he talks to Louis. Or maybe it's the way his green eyes shine with honesty. Or, maybe it's the way that he recklessly trusted Louis in a moment of need, the night prior; maybe Louis admires that in Harry. So much so, that he's willing to try it with himself, this ‘blind faith’ thing.  
  
"I haven't either," Louis says, and Harry raises an eyebrow. "What?" Louis asks, suddenly self conscious.  
  
"Oh--erm, it's just that. Liam told me not to be surprised if you seemed reserved or somethign. But you're being quite open with me." Harry's eyebrows are furrowed, and Louis realizes--probably a beat too late--that he's meant to respond to the other boy’s statement.  
  
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Is it weird if I say that it feels like I've known you forever?" He grimaces at what he’s just said and looks at Harry, who's staring right back at him, eyes wide.  
  
"Is it weird that I was literally just thinking the same thing?" Harry whispers this, almost as though he's scared to let ruin this delicate moment.  
  
Louis looks up at him. He searches Harry's features for any ounce of amusement or mockery, but all he finds is honesty.  
  
The moment lasts and pretty soon, they're both just staring at each other openly. Louis' eyes trace over every bump, every contour of Harry's face. He doesn't want to forget this boy who he barely knows, and for a completely rational reason (to him), his mind keeps telling him to memorize the boy’s beauty while Harry is with him. Before he leaves.  
  
It's one of those thoughts that Louis thinks unconsciously. And it's also one of those thoughts that leaves him breathless, his cheeks tear-stained.  
  
But before any of that can happen tonight, before Louis begins to feel a certain tightness in his throat, Harry says, "Don't look at me like that."  
  
Louis' eyes snap up to Harry's. "Like what?" He questions, quietly.  
  
"Like you're never gonna see me again." Harry replies, blinking. Once again, Louis is awed. Harry is so honest and it kind of makes Louis' heart skip a beat. He wishes he were like that.  
  
"Sorry," Louis says. He abruptly turns his head and stares into his lap until a big, warm hand cups his chin and pulls his face up and then. Then he's looking back into Harry's eyes.  
  
"I didn't tell you to stop looking at me," Harry whispers. "I just asked you to stop looking at me like that."  
  
Louis is speechless.  
  
"I actually quite like the color of your eyes," Harry says conversationally, as if discussing the eye color of someone that you've _just_ met it absolutely normal. "They're really blue. Like sapphire. Last night they were so bright. And--excuse me for saying this--but so vulnerable."  
  
Louis physically _cannot_ breathe.  
  
But the annoying vibrating of his phone is enough to finally force him to move again. He clears his throat, pulling out his phone from his back pocket after jumping off the heater. He stands in front of Harry who's still looking at him.  
  
"Hello," Louis picks up without checking the caller ID. He's looking down at his shoes and he can feel Harry's eyes trying to dissect him. (Just like Liam, he thinks. No wonder they’re best friends.)  
  
"Louis? Hi this is Danielle," whispers the girl on the other line. "You asked me to call you when Hazel falls asleep and well. She's fallen asleep."  
  
Louis laughs. "Thank you Danielle. I'm leaving just now so I'll see you in 20 minutes. Bye."  
  
Louis ends the call and looks up at Harry. The boy is still sitting on the heater with his eyes on the floor. When he notices that Louis has ended the conversation, he looks back up. "Phone," he says simply, holding his hand out.  
  
Louis raises his eyebrows and enters his passcode, handing his phone to Harry. Harry tinkers around with it for a minute, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration.  
  
Louis laughs at the site and Harry hands him back his phone, grinning. Louis looks down and sees that the younger boy has added himself as a contact. "And I've texted myself so I can have your number, too!" Harry smiles bashfully, revealing a dimple on each of his cheeks. Louis' heart feels like its melting and he thinks that he likes this Harry--the one whose smile can brighten up a room--more than the sad one from last night.  
  
Locking his phone and shoving it in his pocket, Louis turns around to face Liam, who is now cleaning up the dressing room. "Hey Li! Hazel's fallen asleep so I'm gonna go pick her up."  
  
Liam drops what he was in the middle of cleaning, and walks over to Louis, engulfing him in another bear hug. "Thank you so much for coming tonight, Louis," says Liam. "I appreciate it a helluva lot mate."  
  
Louis pats Liam's back. "You boys really were amazing. Thanks for inviting me," he smiles and turns back to Harry who is now also standing up.  
  
Louis sticks out his hand but Harry, instead, opens his arms for Louis. And Louis, ever the risk taker tonight apparently, walks into them.  
  
He surprised at how right the hug feels. Louis' chin lands on Harry's shoulder and Harry's arms wrap around Louis' waist. It feels intimate when there's no reason why it should. But before Louis can think about it any further, Harry lets him go.  
  
"I'll see you around, Lou," Harry says.  
  
Louis looks down at his shoes and smiles. Then, without taking a look behind him, he walks out of the dressing room and into the hallway, making his way towards the exit.  
  
But if he had looked back, he would have seen two bright emerald eyes staring at him, glistening with fascination and wonder.

***

Ever since Louis moved to London, his mum has been nagging him to take a vacation, a break of sorts, before he starts to work crazy shifts. And now, even after he's got his job, she's still pushing him to.  
  
It's a lovely Sunday morning in August and Hazel is playing with her toys on the kitchen floor while Louis finishes up his breakfast. He's munching on some egg and toast, watching Hazel as she plays with a plushie.  
  
(When his baby is around, Louis doesn't let himself think of sad things. He reminds himself that he _needs_ to be happy for her.)  
  
To say that he's surprised when his phone rings beside him is a bit of an understatement, what with everyone preferring to text these days. He peeks down at the phone and watches _Mum_ blink across the screen. Hmm. Odd. Louis is usually the one to make phone calls to him mother. His heartbeat quickens in panic. What if something's wrong?  
  
"Mum, is everything okay?" Louis asks when he breathlessly answers the phone, eyes following his daughter.  
  
"Well hello to you too, darling," his mum chuckles. "Everything's brilliant Lou. Am I not allowed to ring up my favorite son anymore?"  
  
Louis breathes out a sigh of relief. "Mum, you know that statement would mean more to me _if I weren't your only son,_ right?" She hears her laugh and it's like music to his ears.  
  
"Good point. I'll keep that in mind next time."  
  
Louis grins, happy his mum is bantering with him. It really feels like it's been too long since they had a cheerful and calm conversation.  
  
"So, Louis, look," she begins, cutting to the chase. "I was just online and I came across an ad for Leeds Fest."  
  
Louis' brow furrows. He doesn't understand where this is going.  
  
"And I've been telling you for ages to go on a short break and I just. I really think you should go to Leeds, Lou. It'll help you sort some stuff out."  
  
"Mum, you know I can't leave Hazel," Louis says quietly in fleeting indignation. He understands that his mother wants what's best for him but really, how could she forget Hazel?  
  
He looks at Hazel who is now sitting quietly on the floor. Her eyes are giant, blue saucers and she's pouting up at her father. Sometimes Louis is shocked at how connected he feels to her. When he feels something, it's like she does too (and vice versa). And right now she can definitely feel his hesitance.  
  
(He stares deeply into her eyes and tries to convey to her, _I'm not leaving you. Not ever._ )  
  
"Don't be silly, Lou," his mum scolds. "I've taken next weekend off of work and your sisters will be with me the whole time. I've paid for your ticket to the Fest and it should be coming here any day now."  
  
"Mum," Louis says firmly.  
  
"Look. It's a gift from me and your sisters. Bring Hazel down to Donny on Friday night and you can leave her here with us. Drive out to Leeds Saturday morning and you can come back Sunday night if you want to. But _please_ Louis, just go. Have fun," his mother pleads.  
  
Louis rubs his eyes tiredly. He huffs out a humorless laugh. "I'll ask my boss if I can get the days off," he finally concludes.  
  
"Yay! It's been ages since we've seen you. I can't wait!" (Louis thinks he hears her choke up but he can't be sure.)  
  
Louis looks at the clock. "Alright mum, I've got to head out to work. I'll speak to you soon." He says finally.  
  
"Okay darling. I love you!"  
  
"Love you too. Give the girls kisses from me," Louis says, smiling at the thought of his sisters.  
  
"Will do," his mother laughs. Then the line goes dead and Louis is alone once more.  
  
(He tells himself that he's not _really_ alone, no. He's got Hazel, his beautiful baby. But Hazel can't talk, now can she? And he can't help but feel lonely sometimes.)  
  
Louis tries to clear away the thickness from his throat and rubs the sudden sadness away from his eyes. He picks up his plate from the table and puts it in the sink. After washing up the breakfast dishes, he walks over to Hazel who is looking at him curiously.  
  
"Well hello bug," Louis mumbles, bending over to pick Hazel up from the floor. "Let's get you ready for Liam, yeah?" He kisses both of her cheeks with a smack and she squeals in delight, giving him a head cuddle.  
  
"You excited to visit grandma this weekend?" He asks her later when they're walking to Liam's house.  
  
"Gama! Gama!" She screams, beaming.  
  
Louis chuckles and drops a kiss to her forehead. "Don't get too crazy, okay?" He drops his voice to an animated whisper as he walks up the steps to Liam's flat. Hazel peers up at him from her position in him arms, curious and amused. "Just between you and me," he says quietly. "Grandma’s getting old." He tickles Hazel's belly and she laughs and squeals in delight. Louis smiles at his baby and a minute later, he remembers to ring Liam's doorbell.

***

Leeds is absolutely mental, like Louis knew it would be. He’s wearing a windbreaker and a ratty old band t-shirt that he found in his old room at his mum’s place. Louis is trudging around in his galoshes, hopping from crowd to crowd in hopes of catching a glimpse of his favorite acts.

All in all, Saturday is pretty great. He left Doncaster before dawn and had made it to Leeds before the usual rush of people. In his excitement, Louis felt didn’t put up his tent, thinking it better to sleep in his car.

He is there by himself, but Louis doesn’t let that take away from his experience. He wanders around the grounds remembering how, five years ago, he had been there with his friends from Manchester. He doesn’t remember much of it because of the copious amount of alcohol and drugs he consumed, but just in case he does, Louis has the drinks to help him forget.

 _The Naked and Famous_ has just ended their performance and Louis is buzzed. He grins at no one in particular and stands in front of a food kiosk, hungry after all the energy he puts into singing and dancing along with the band.

When he buys a hot dog—which was fucking _expensive—_ Louis resumes walking around the grounds. He sees couples dancing and friends singing and tries his best to ignore the pang of jealousy that’s overwhelming him somewhere deep in his gut. Maybe Leeds wasn’t the best place to come—after all, it doesn’t help him leave any of his insecurities behind.

Louis sighs. He is so _tired_. He walks over to a tree that not many people are around and sits down, bringing his knees to his chest. He sits there quietly, eating and listening to the faint sound of music coming from somewhere in the distance. Just as he’s finishing his hot dog, Louis feels his phone buzz in his pocket.

He pulls out the device and sees that he has one unread text message.

_Harry: Heard you’re at Leeds! X_

Louis quirks an eyebrow. Oh, Liam.

_Louis: I am indeed. X_

Not a minute later, Harry replies.

_Harry: So am I! Want to meet up?_

Louis feels his heartbeat quicken.

_Louis: That would be lovely. Where??_

_Harry: Come by the main stage. The Arctic Monkeys will be performing soon .x_

_Louis: I’ll be there in 5. X_

Louis jumps up from his spot under the tree and shoves the rest of his dinner into his mouth. He runs in the direction of the main stage, keeping his eyes open for a head of curly hair.

“Louis!” someone yells.

Louis turns in the direction of the voice and eventually sees Harry standing on top of a table. He is grinning down at him and Louis couldn’t help but smile back.

He walks over to Harry who has jumped down from his spot atop the table. “Hi,” Harry said, smiling.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Louis winks.

“Fate keeps pushing us together, wouldn’t you say?” Harry banters.

“Ahh, but this is not the work of fate, young Harry,” Louis begins. “Fate is a cruel, cruel thing. Knowing you on the other hand…”

Harry pretends to wipe a tear from his eye. “That. Wow, that was beautiful, Louis, and I just. I feel the same way about you.” He sniffles exaggeratedly.

Louis rolls his eyes and tugs on Harry’s arm, pulling him towards the stage area where people are beginning to crowd around. “C’mon you Cyclopes.”

Harry frowns. “I do not have one eye. Therefore your statement is invalid.”

“I hope they perform _Only One Who Knows,_ ” Louis says, ignoring Harry’s previous comment. “I love that one.”

“Me too,” Harry agrees, nodding. “But I might cry.”

“Same, same,” Louis says absentmindedly.

“We’re emotional people,” Harry says. Louis almost misses Harry’s comment (and has Louis really been this open with Harry? So open that Harry can tell that he is an emotional wreck?) because the band has come up on stage and everyone is going insane. Louis wants to go crazy too, except when he turns to look at Harry to gauge his reaction, he sees that Harry is silently watching. His mouth is turned up just the _tiniest_ bit and his eyes are glassy.

Louis elbows Harry and stands on his tiptoes to whisper in his ear, arms gripping Harry’s shoulders. “No sadness allowed tonight, Harry,” he says, voice wavering, feeling Harry’s soft earlobe against his lips. “We smile and we laugh and we cheer because we’re together and we’re friends and that’s it, yeah?”

Louis thinks Harry might burst into tears; his eyes are glazed over. Instead, he nods vigorously, yelling “Fucking Arctic Monkeys!”

Louis Laughs and Harry snickers. “Fuck yeah!”

***

“I find Alex Turner’s voice to be quite sexy,” Louis says, buzzing.

He and Harry are walking away from the main stage, in the general direction of the parking lot. They’ve both decided that they’ve had enough excitement for the day, so now, Harry is walking Louis back to him car.

“I think he’s quite sexy overall,” Harry thinks aloud. “Very rugged image. Sexy, smooth as silk voice. Plus that lyric from 505 really does it for me.” Louis snorts and Harry sings, “In my imagination you're waiting lying on your side, with your hands between your thighs!”

“Do you like turning things sexual, Harry,” Louis asks, trying (and failing) to look earnest.

“Only when I’m chatting to cute boys in the dark,” Harry winks. Louis’ throat constricts oddly and he coughs. Great, now he’s just made things awkward.

“Where are you sleeping tonight?” Louis tries to change the subject, wincing as the words leave his mouth.

“Erm, well I came with my friends and they’ve all paired off. So I dunno, really. I was gonna buy a blanket or something and sleep under a tree.” Harry scratches the back of his neck and Louis groans.

“You’re an idiot,” he mutters.

“Hey!” Harry squawks.

“C’mon then,” Louis sighs when they finally reach his car. “You can sleep in the passenger’s side.”

Harry’s eyes widen. “Oh no Lou, I wasn’t trying to put you on the spot like that or anything, I really _was_ gonna just sleep outside, it’s fine, really—“

Louis rolls his eyes and points at Harry. “I’ve offered out of the goodness of my heart, Harold. Now get in before I change my mind.”

They both clamber into the car and Louis instantaneously reaches for his phone, plugging it into the cars sound system.

“Was that supposed to be a sexual innuendo out there?” Harry asks suddenly.

Louis snorts, hands busy as he tries to turn on the music. “It can be whatever you want it to be, Harry,” he says in a nasally voice.

“How poetic,” Harry replies, shaking his head. Then after a moment, “Nice ride.” He obviously tries to hold back a snicker.

Louis stops what he’s doing. “S’cuse me, mister. Nobody makes fun of me mums car like that!”

“Really now?” Harry laughs. It’s loud and messy and so _real_ and Louis wants to treasure it forever.

“She gave birth to me in the very seat you’re sat in!” Louis cries. He knows he has that manic look in his eyes but he doesn’t care. He likes being funny, he likes feeling weightless. He likes being with Harry.

“Ewww!” Harry gasps, making gagging noises.

“Mhmm,” Louis finishes, winking. He turns on the stereo and the two are met with the opening chords of _Only One Who Knows._ “Haven’t cried yet today,” Louis says, sighing. He leans back against his chair.

Louis is lost in thought when he feels Harry’s hand tugging on him arm. He looks up and Harry’s looking at him with big, green eyes.

“C’mere,” Harry says quietly, his voice rough.

Louis’ heartbeat quickens and he lets himself be pulled onto Harry’s seat. He’s half on top of the taller lad, and his face is in Harry’s chest. Harry’s chin rests on Louis’ head and the two sit quietly in the darkness, listening to Alex Turners’ voice, eyes pooled with unshed tears.

They’re just two broken boys.

When the song finishes, Louis reaches over to turn the stereo off. The silence that follows is heavy and Louis finds it difficult to breathe.

Harry grips Louis’ waist, as though the strength of the grip is his lifeline. Louis sniffles and reaches down, holding Harry’s hand and squeezing tightly. “I want to tell you to not be sad, Harry,” Louis whispers, voice engulfed by the silence surrounding them. “I want to tell you that a beautiful human like you doesn’t deserve to cry. But I can’t tell you to not be sad because that would be hypocritical of me. It’s all that I know how to be.”

Harry places a kiss on Louis’ head. “I think we have some work to do, Louis,” he eventually says.

A minute passes in silence, and then. “Don’t leave me,” Louis pleads.

Harry pauses. “I don’t think I could if I tried.” 


End file.
